Self-help, self-serve, self-less?? Less-self

'Self is the greatest enemy to a Christian.' Who said that? Anyone? Probably every great theologian who has ever written, every pastor with an understanding of the Word, and every person with an understanding of themselves. I am constantly amazed at how the 'self' has found it's way into every aspect of the 'kingdom' life. It's really nothing of a kingdom life at all, it's a life centered around self. You see we have this idea that wording doesn't really matter, that phrasing isn't important, that words are not representative of the way we feel. But I argue that your words reflect exactly what you mean. I argue that the way you say a thing is indicative of the way you truly feel; not the way you think you feel mind you, but of what you truly believe. And what you truly believe is that you are the center of the universe.

Here's an example. Ask a Christian today about their faith, ask about its importance. They will probably say something like, "My faith is very important to me," or "it's a very big part of my life," or "my faith is part of who I am." What's wrong with those responses? Everything.. They reflect a completely backwards understanding of salvation. They contain SELF in the highest degree. Me, myself, and I are all conspicuously found in this characterization of my faith. But people will say, 'well that's not what I meant of course.' I don't really think God is a part of my life, of course He's much bigger than that. He's God.' Good point. I don't really believe you think that way either, but I do believe you live that way. I don't really care what you think because thoughts don't change lifestyle, they reflect it. Belief is what really changes the way you live. And that's what I care about. I believe it reflects an underlying current in your life and that's why you say it. I don't buy for a moment the argument that it's semantic. We have enough arguments over semantics in the Body, but this is not one; it's far deeper. It reflects WHO we believe ourselves to be. Me, myself, and I are ALL supposed to be dead (Gal. 2, Rom. 7 & 8, the rest of the epistles). But they live. They masquerade themselves as good works and good intentions and good thoughts, but they are not. They do not please God because they begin and end with you, with me. My thoughts should have their beginning in God and their end in God. He is the wellspring from which my mouth should pour forth, the well from which my soul should drink.

All our sins are a result of self; selfishness, self-worth, self-pride, but really we are self-deceived. There is much more to this discussion of self. It could be one of those several part series bloggers are fond of doing. There is adequate evidence in culture, in Scripture, in our lives. We have this notion that we are the center of the universe. I'll just go ahead and paste something I wrote in my journal earlier today. I won't put it in quotes or anything or subset the font to make you think someone important wrote it, I'll just stick it in here, probably typos and all.

My ‘self’ should not be known as the center because it is in fact not the center any more than the earth is the center of the universe. I find it quite ironic how the solar system so perfectly represents in many ways our lives; it mirrors and parallels or perhaps we mirror and parallel, nevertheless the similarities are apparent. For many years we believed the earth was the center of all things and everything revolved around it, but then we saw it was not us but the sun (ironic also we revolve around something that in English is called the sun). Of course it’s a much greater flaw to believe the earth revolves around me. The geocentric theory was perhaps an honest mistake but the selfocentric theory is a much more obvious error. Anyone who cannot, in one moment of looking up at the stars, realize their comparative littleness in the vastness of the cosmos is blind.. completely, utterly unaware. How small am I? very small, and in fact insignificant in the scheme of things if not for God finding value in me. Honestly, apart from His valuation I am utterly worthless. I’m like an OTC-bb stock in desperate need of an analyst upgrade (I know one business major reads this occasionally). Perhaps to a few people I am not, but if majority rules then my life makes little difference. The most important, most loved person on earth right now will mean very little in a few years and few would think often of their death if they passed away today. And even those great names that have gone down in history would eventually be forgotten; all it takes is time and the universe has plenty of that. And after all the life span of humans in existence in totality is an infinitely small speck on the map of the history of our universe so.. are you important? Nah, not at all. Not for long anyway. In fact, you are utterly worthless. As Paul says we are most to be pitied if these things are true. We are the most foolish, the most stupid, the left out, the pathetic, the clueless, the morons of all creation if CHRIST did not rise from the dead.

perspective is crucial. It must be maintained at all costs. The perspective of Christ as central, of Christ as the supreme ruler, of Christ as the key, the vital; everything revolving around HIM. If that can be grasped, held onto at all times then we will see the world as Christ saw it and we will be effective. If not then we will be hit and miss and if you are like me, then mostly miss. The times where I see that are few and far between. Why? Because I care not enough to look. The details must be seen in relation to the whole or else we cannot ever see the meaning in them. That is why so much lacks meaning to us including our day to day affairs, our work, our relationships, our lives in general. A purpose driven life? It can only be seen in the light of the kingdom. Here all things are brought to light. The world makes sense.. perception is reality? No. not at all. You hear that a lot. Reality is not defined by what people believe. My poor perception of the things that go on in the world does not make them real, it simply makes me ill informed or deceived. The mass populous’ view of ‘how things are’ does not really determine ‘how things are.’ We live our lives based on our beliefs, but our beliefs do not influence truth. If I believe firmly in Allah as God and live my life according to that belief that does not make Allah, God. It does not change reality. Reality becomes distorted, it becomes misunderstood and so what people believe influences behavior but it does not influence reality. Real belief does not necessitate the reality of the thing believed.

Less-self. that's really what it's about. I decrease, He increases. Man, there is so much depth in every single one of those statements in the Word, we could spend a great deal of time discussing each of them. Even me, in my shallow understanding, can spend a long time being amazed by the immensity of God's revelation to man, much less God Himself. Anyway, a couple closing illustrations in rhymed form. One is rap and one is old school poetry style because I'm weird like that..

Eyes surprise, wide open, my hope in Christ/ there lies the answer, the cure to life/ like sure You're right, Blood cleansed made pure in His sight// certain to fight like cats in a cage/ fact sheet open like stats on a page/ matt's in a rage, 'me', 'myself', 'I' and it seems, my 'self' always gets 'I' on his team so there's no hope for 'me.'// though well spoken I lean on my own understanding/ so I go under, standing. still refuse to fall//misplaced weight, still uncertain to call, certainly certain to stall/ hurtin' til the curtain will fall, the play ends/ just say 'when' then you ascend from this sentence of sin/ intense, sinister grin, sentence will end. Stop.. Cause this pause to reflect, fought claw and correct, still on call but 'collect'.. my hands are empty i'm bankrupt, speechless i still say stuff.. til i'm killed, blood spilled, give my name up.. been exchanged for a better one, letter one: J: Justified by the Son's Blood, I've been claimed. Even though my birth brought a Crimson stain.. Suffered much on earth when the Savior came.. for US, to bring glory to His name.


An excerpt..

'To death! To death, with flesh,' I mourn,
With hand outstretched to spare its life.
A glimpse of my reflection, torn,
I see the scales, I weigh the price.

Long wearied from this heavy load,
Dear burden slips from back unchained.
Pray grace would leave beside the road,
The body of this flesh, now slain.

Prevent the quick but fatal glance,
Through longing hides some strand of self.
Make no provision, take no chance,
Put sword to soul, unweave the spell..

And, to complete the eccentricity (as Joshua Harris said, people want to be seen as eclectic and different http://theresurgence.com/reform_resurge_conference_2006), how about something more contemporary about how lousy the flesh is..

Pour me out, let me flow,
Over those whose names You long to know.
Let me break, upon the Rock,
Lay my burdens down for the victory of the Cross.

Lord I'm a fool to believe these lies,
That tell me not to trust what's plain to my eyes.
And though I'm weak, I stink with pride,
and still I live my life like my flesh was still alive.

The flesh is ROTTEN. That's because it's dead. It needs to be thrown out. I need to throw it out (by grace and the work of the Lord), you need to throw it out (by grace and the work of the Lord) and we need to rejoice in its death. The problem is we don't really want it to die. We kind of like it. It's scary without it, it's embarrassing without it because who knows what God could have us do. Goodness, that could be dangerous. God isn't always a safe sort, He does crazy things. If I plan my good works and serve in the church and teach a Sunday school class, that's safe; no danger there. Man, I'm starting to sound like Tozer with that, who really just sounds like Paul talking about the 'foolishness' of the Gospel and the Cross in 1st Corinthians 2. Following God is a risky proposition. Let's be honest. A lot of the time you'll look like a complete fool. Casting out demons? Do those even exist anymore? Saying Jesus is the only way to heaven? People are still that narrow minded? Preaching about a spiritual kingdom.. that you can't see.. that you can be a part of..? Who wants to join my club of imaginary people and places? Anyone? Any takers? Taking deserted desert roads, leaving your job, going places where you know you will be beaten and killed, waving your arms at a large body of water, hitting a rock, prophesying about crazy things.. That's not safe, that's not respectable, that's not Christian. Oh, that's unfortunate. I wonder how it made the cut in the Bible. It's really almost a guarantee of looking like an idiot to the world. Mark Driscoll closes one of his sermons on 1st Cor. (one of Parts 5-8) with a long speech of 'all you fools who...' lines. And it's completely true. You really can't care what anyone else thinks. It's not a free card for acting like a moron and doing stupid things. But we have to live for an audience of One as my brother Ryan and I discussed a few days ago. We must listen to God and obey God regardless of what He says. That crazy Lord of the Heavens and Earth.. what will He think of next? Kind of exciting to be a Christian. Kind of AMAZING. Kind of AWESOME, not awful, but FULL of awe. Kind of cool to live forever. Kind of neat not to fear death. Kind of HUMBLING to think of me in relation to the universe.. the eternal Godhead.. Kind of OVERWHELMING. Kind of CONSUMING. Kind of Awe-Inspiring. Kind of GLORIOUS. Kind of CRAZY.

Let's press into the kingdom. Don't wait up, just leave a trail.
EP